-It is ironic that I needed a story for this day and decided to put it here, on 4/20, if you dont know the irony, you can go here to see the history of the phrase 420
One of the things that I do as a Scoutmaster is to help young boys become men by teaching them leadership skills, self-reliance and to live by the points of the Scout Oath and Law. All in all I feel that I have accomplished that, but over the years I have had reason to question how well I have done. Time has passed now so maybe it is time to sit down and think about what led up to and created what I might categorize as maybe my darkest moment as a Scoutmaster. I know it took its toll both physically and emotionally at the time, and for the most part have tried to erase it from my mind, but it doesn’t seem to work, after all, the best way to live the future is to never forget the past, or you will be doomed to repeat itself.
As with the long tradition of Scouting, our Troop has had a Leadership Corps, which is an older group of Scouts who are responsible for running the Troop. Kind of like serving as the executive board of a large corporation. They work with teams of Scouts and I put a lot of trust in them to run the business of the Troop. With a Troop of over 60 Scouts, this group of five or six Scouts is very instrumental to both my success and the success of the Troop. I have never underestimated the value that they played and have had great respect for them. To say that I put a lot of trust in them would be an understatement. In this era of the Troop, they were not only highly respected by me, but we were also very good friends, many times doing things outside the Scouting agenda, such as going on hikes, maybe a trip out the my parents' cottage, and things like that, not only was I close with them, I also had a good relationship with their families, many times having dinner at their house or doing things with their families too. I guess it is safe to say that we were close, which made my trust in them even greater.
Through that trust, we talked about a lot of things. Some of them had excess family tension or just some of the other conflicts that might exist for teenagers as they mature into manhood and struggled for their independence against their parents' wishes, which is pretty typical of teenage boys. For instance, one had the tension of dealing with his father, who was divorced from his mother and he had to deal with the two-home family. He got along with both of his parents and worked for his father at times, but both had their moments of stubbornness which sometimes added to the tension. At times, I may have been his only shoulder that listened, or at least he felt he could talk to me. I knew he was at times troubled by all that was going on in his life. I was glad to help him to be a better person as I was with all the Scouts.
Through the friendships, I began to notice a distance in them at times and I wondered if maybe I was to demanding on them. While they were members of the Troop we had expanded from 30 Scouts to almost 65 Scouts over a few years, I think mostly because of their dedication to making the program work. I was very proud of them but was becoming a little disappointed in their performance. I tried to rationalize that maybe they were just getting older and getting bored with the program, or maybe burned out. I began to accept that but it took me a lot to accept, so much so, I guess I didn’t… So I started to question many of these Scouts and began to find out some things I was neither ready to accept or wanted to hear. I found that some of them were involved in things I would classify as un-Scout-like behavior. Mostly it was the use of Drugs. The damn of information broke when one of the Scouts was taking this habit way past what would be considered as casual use, not that any drug use is safe, but this Scout was more than a casual user.
Referring back to a system my sister and I used to use when talking about friends but didn’t want to use their names, we referred to them as colors. For the sake of this discussion, I think I will resort back to that method. So let's call this person Red. Red had taken his causal habit to be a pretty regular user, and to say an abuser might also be an understatement. He was hanging out with some of the less desirable at School.
Seeing I had a good talking relationship with many of these Scouts they were willing to tell me more than the average person might, so I guess in hindsight it was a good thing that I had developed a good working relationship. As I gathered more information, I knew it was time to sit down with Red and talk to him about what I knew and that he needed to stop. I knew, that as far as he had gotten in this habit it would not be as simple as saying, hey, knock it off. I began to gather information about drug abuse and talked or read pretty much anyone/thing I could to gather information. This was really before the internet was a big resource so gathering of the information took a lot of time. Looking in newspapers, calling local agencies, and talking to anyone who might have a clue I spent a long time working on this, maybe to the point of affecting my job and my personal life. At the time I worked with a friend who had a good working knowledge of the drug world and they helped me understand some of the things I was pretty naïve about, some of the stuff scared the hell out of me, but I knew I needed to move forward. After gathering information I had a plan in hand and made my next step to approach this Scout letting him know I knew. I had put the plan together to have it align with a Troop trip to Devils Lake. I made arrangements to stay after everyone else left and this Scout and I went for a hike we stopped about 45 minutes into the hike and sat down and talked. I told him I knew and wanted to help him. I suspected this would not go well, and I thought he would deny the whole thing, but I had enough evidence to cut him off on many paths of denial. It wasn’t long before he started to cry gave in and accepted that I knew and he could not keep his secret anymore, and after more discussion, I think he was pretty relieved to have the info out, he was getting exhausted keeping his secret. After our hike, I told him that he needed to talk to his mother or father and I expected a call from either one in the next couple of days or I was going to talk to them, but I wanted to give him a chance to break the news. I had already made some simple plans to get him some help but it would have to be with the blessing of a parent. Within a week or so of our talk, I got a call from his mom and gave her a bunch of information. She made arrangements with a counselor and Red went for some help, I was relieved because I knew that he was starting to make some inroads to recovery. Shortly after he started he stopped by and told me how happy he was to be getting some help and it made it all worth the trouble I had seen up to that point. I felt we were making progress. He seemed happy, and that was what I wanted more than anything else. He stopped by one morning on his way out of town to do work on a project at Summer camp to create a promo video, something we talked about because I knew he had a passion to want to do something like that and I thought it was a great way to refocus his direction on something good. He even used some of my video equipment. I was also happy to see his excitement as he left thinking he was doing something positive.
A few days later, I got a call from camp by another Scout I was friends with, let's call him Blue. Blue and I may have been the closest of all the group, and we had briefly talked about the drug situation but I was not convinced he accepted my opinion of the use of drugs. He felt the recreational drug was ok, but I won't go down that trail now. He began to tell me a story about Red. While at camp, Red was driving his truck into town with a friend from camp and was pulled over for speeding but before it was all over the truck was searched and drugs were found. Red was arrested and needed to be bailed out, blue and a few others got him out. During the phone call, I did talk to Red and something I said upset him a lot, I think it was something along the lines of I wasn’t surprised he would have setbacks, but he took it as I didn’t have trust in him, that he could do it. To say I was disappointed, would be an understatement, but after all my efforts this a setback to me and to think I would be happy about it would be just plain nuts. When he came home, we got a chance to talk, after all, he had to return my video equipment if nothing else. Things were patched up a little, but it was not outstanding. His mom kept me in the loop somewhat, but we felt he was not gaining much ground on this, and I believe he also quit going to counseling. His mom and I both thought if he did not see eye to eye with the counselor that there were other options, but he refused most if not all. After several months of denial and more drug usage, it was decided that an intervention was needed. Red was in trouble and he needed help. So his mom and the counselor set up an intervention and I was invited too, along with his siblings and his father. We all told him our concerns, some did it through tears, it was a very emotional situation to make matters worse, an acquaintance of his (maybe his drug dealer) was shot and killed in a drug deal gone bad the morning of his intervention. I knew this person’s roommate as a former scout from years before. In the end, he agreed to go to an in-treatment facility in MN, we packed up the car right at that moment and we drove through the night to MN and arrived early in the morning to get him checked in. He had mixed emotions and at times mad at each of us, but we knew it was the best. I later heard his mom found a ripped-up picture of me in his room. He spent almost a month in treatment and then continued treatment at home, and he struggled with this for a long time. Red and I would talk often after and he stayed in scouts. He and I had a lot of discussions over the years after this and he often told me how thankful he was that I threw him a rope to get out of trouble. I am not sure I was ever totally convinced he was 100% clean, but I knew he would not last long on the route he was going and I never regretted doing something to help him. In the process of all this, it was an opportunity to help other scouts who were experimenting and maybe I convinced them of the dangers of drugs too. I know who they are and most of them have led pretty productive lives. I wonder about those who didn’t buy into what I was saying and how their lives would be different if they had. None of them are bad people by any means, I just wonder how life for them would have been different. A few of those who have listened, have come back to tell me how they appreciated my frank talk with them. I hoped it helped them and they can be happy they did listen. For others, I may never hear how it changed their life, but even today, if any of them wanted to talk, I would still be here to listen. I would say this was maybe one of the darkest times I had in Scouting. It wore me out to the point that my parents noticed and asked me questions about the whole thing and were very concerned about my well-being. I gave 110% to this problem and I hope it was worth it, I believe it was. Not sure I would ever do it again having a better understanding and concern with the BSA policies, but at the time, it just seemed like the only thing I could do to help these scouts become the great men they are today. I believe it made a difference.
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