Sometimes School and scouts mix a little. This is an essay that one of the Scouts did for a School project and he shared it with me afterwards and I was very touched. If I get to put a grade on it, it should have gotten an A+
I had never seen my Scoutmaster, Tim Falendysz, in such a state as he was one night this summer while on an outing with my Boy Scout Troop. We were at the Rec Plex in Kenosha for a night of sports fun. I had known for about a week that his father was in the hospital battling complications in his lungs, but based on how I knew Mr. F (what we all call him) I was surprised to see the emotion on his face that night.
Through my 7 years in Troop 161 with him as my Scoutmaster, and especially in the last year and a half as I served as Senior Patrol Leader, I had gotten to know Mr. F as an even-keeled, strong willed and stone-faced man with a perfectly witty sense of humor. If I were ever to give somebody the best example of an Eagle Scout that I knew, Mr. F would be the Eagle Scout. If I were ever to give somebody the best example of a great man that I knew, Mr. F would be him. And so this situation was particularly difficult for me to handle.
That was why when I showed up the night of the Rec Plex and he pulled me aside to talk, I was shocked. "I just wanted to let you know that my dad was put in the hospital last night, so I might need to be on my phone a lot. Not to make an excuse, but just in case there's anything I need to know or plans I might need to make." This was typical Mr. F, trying to hold himself to the same standards and rules as everybody else, no matter the circumstances. I could tell it really did bother him that he had to use his phone at a meeting, because the devices are strictly banned from us scouts. I told him I understood and that I would make sure the night went as smoothly as possible.
The night would turn out to be more difficult to enjoy than anticipated, as I constantly found myself turning to check where Mr. F was and what he was doing. The man I had grown to respect and look up to more so than anybody in my life was hurting. It was particularly upsetting because Mr. F's life is dedicated to helping others, and scouting is all he needs to be happy. Because of this, when I saw him upset, I felt upset myself, and pledged that any help I could give to him during this time of hardship would be given.
Aside from throwing Mr. F's life out of balance, the hospitalization of his dad nearly threw a wrench in the plans of some of us scouts. One week later, 7 scouts, including me, were scheduled to go on a weeklong High-Adventure extravaganza. The trip's chaperones were to be Mr. F, Mrs. Andersen (the "troop mom"), and the father of another scout going on the trip. On the menu for the trip was 3 days and 110 miles of road and trail bicycling, a trip to a drive-in theater, 91 holes of mini-golf in the Wisconsin Dells, and 2 days of a landscaping project at Mr. F's parents' cabin in Edgerton, Wisconsin. Because we would be spending a few nights and days at the home of Mr. F's parents, it might be difficult on the rest of the Falendysz family having us there while they're busy dealing with a family member in the hospital.
We all waited patiently for a couple days with the trip in limbo, until 3 nights before our scheduled departure from Racine, Mr. F and all of his siblings travelled to Mr. Falendysz's hospital room in Edgerton. Mr. F told me afterwards that they were able to enjoy the company of their father, and that Mr. Falendysz was able to set things straight with his life and find comfort with how it seemed he would be leaving things behind. Also, Mr. F's father was adamant that we continue with our trip as planned, and that Mr. F be along for the entirety of it. I guess this shouldn't have been a surprise, for it simply made apparent to me where Mr. F had gotten his great character from.
So, thankfully, the trip went ahead as scheduled. We all maintained a chipper mood throughout the biking, even when it seemed we were constantly going uphill and our butts felt like they could fall off. It was turning out to be one of my favorite experiences in scouts, partially because of the things I was able to be doing, but more so because of the circumstances and who I was doing these things with. We found enjoyment out of the simple things while on the trip, such as acting like little kids on the playground at the drive-in theater, or talking about how hot the girls were whom I held the door for at the concession stand.
When we finally made it to the cabin in Edgerton, we enjoyed a day and a half of fun and relaxation, including a day-trip to the Wisconsin Dells. The next day, however, we got down to work. The Falendysz cabin had been expanded in the spring, each of the Falendysz kids took on a project. Mr. F's project was to build a retaining wall and brick paver patio outside the front door, with a curving brick paver ramp connecting to the driveway, which would provide wheelchair access if and when the hospital would let Mr. F's dad return home from the hospital.
This project proved to be much more difficult than any of us expected, however, for we spent all of Wednesday and Thursday of the trip working, and all we had to show for it was a completed patio. Because we didn't complete the whole project, this created a dilemma. We were supposed to return home in the early afternoon on Friday. A few of the other guys were eager to go home, which was evidenced by some complaints in regards to the work. It pained me to hear this, because I knew Mr. F was not only pouring his heart and soul into the project, but was also striving to create an enjoyable experience for us scouts.
At lunch on Friday I smiled as I watched Mr. F talk with my friend Jon, who seemed to thoroughly enjoy the hard labor. "You really like construction type work don't you, Jon?" Mr. F had a light tone in his voice, which implied that he was partly making fun of Jon. "I actually really do. It's just fun," Jon responded. "Great, you can stay another day if you want!" Mr. F joked. Everybody laughed and then the conversation shifted to something else. I began thinking, though, why not stay another day and get this thing done? It's the least some of us could do for Mr. F, considering all he has done for us over the years, and the particular situation he was in.
So I talked with Jon and my best friend on the trip, Patrick, and we all agreed that we should try to stay another day if we could make it work. We sorted out the details with Mr. F, Mrs. Andersen and our parents, and then resumed working on the project in the afternoon, while the rest of the guys packed their stuff and left for home with Mrs. Andersen and the father on trip. Mrs. Andersen decided that she would drop off the Scouts in her car in Racine and then come back to help finish the project as much as we could.
And so on Saturday we got to work bright and early, and as the day progressed more and more of Mr. F's family showed up to help. They all thanked us greatly, and every time I replied that it was the least we could do for Mr. F. It was nice to meet Mr. F's family and notice how they are all very similar to him in one way or another. We managed to finish the ramp that day, and then took some time to pose for pictures on the completed patio.
Right as we were prepping to leave, Mrs. Andersen brought it to our attention that Mr. F hadn't visited his dad since that night that his entire family had gathered. She said that he claimed he didn't need to, because all the goodbyes had been said, but the real reason was that he was busy with us on our trip and he didn't have time to visit his dad like his siblings had been doing that whole week. So Patrick, Jon and I decided that we would ride home with Mrs. Andersen on Saturday night, even though some of our stuff would have to go in Mr. F's truck due to space constraints. We told Mr. F that we wanted him to come dinner with us, but that he needed to go and visit his dad while we drove home. At dinner, he paid for all of us and was full of thanks for our extra time and effort, which meant a lot to me because Mr. F is the most selfless person I've ever met.
I arrived back home with a great sense of pride and accomplishment because of the added work I had donated to the Falendysz family. Little did I know, however, that this feeling would be intensified and mixed with sadness the very next night. I logged onto Instant Messenger as I do nearly every night, and was in a generally happy mood. After some petty conversations with friends, I received a message from Mr. F.
"Thank you so much for letting me visit my dad last night. He was very happy to see me. My nephew had brought him pictures of the patio project. When I walked in the door he gave me a huge smile and thumbs up and said, 'Great job!'"
"Aw, I'm so happy!" is how I remember responding to him.
"Yep, and on my way out, he gave me another huge smile and said 'tell everybody thanks for helping!'" There was a long pause after he sent this message, and the only way I could think to respond was with a smiley emoticon. And then he said a few words that I will never forget in my life:
"And that will be my last living memory of my father. He passed away this evening..."
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