Something I have come to learn after 40 years of scouting is the number of scouts who didn’t want to disappoint ME. To me, that might be the best form of flattery. I have thought of WHY they didn’t want to disappoint and I think it was we had a mutual level of respect for each other and that means the world to me as a human being. But it is also a curse as well. It’s a curse that people think that I expect nothing but perfection, trust me, none of us are perfect, I know I am not. I would hope that all who know me would not expect that I think they are perfect either. I would hope that they can talk with me anytime about anything and know I will listen without judgment (even today). Yesterday I posted an article about some scouts with drug problems, and I know it took a lot for some people to step up and say they were involved in something that I might not approve of, but I still always listened. There is one thing I didn’t mention and that was DISAPPOINTMENT IN THEM, was I disappointed in the situation, YES, but I was not disappointed in them, because I have seen these scouts do great things and I knew that doing drugs may affect how there were at accomplishing their goals, it truly can be a barrier, as are many other things, like bad friends, bad situations (family issues, tragedy, bad environment, lack of goals etc) and more. I always tried to help with any of those.
Drugs were not the only thing that Scouts have gotten concerned about disappointing me about, many times it was between that time of being caught and getting the F-talk. Matter of fact, sometimes I let it stew a while just so it would sink into them a bit, and let them sit while maybe I cooled down a bit. I will say I don’t believe ANY of the scouts have disappointed me, have they done disappointing things, for sure, and I am sure I did disappointing things in their eyes too. When I had an F-Talk I always tried to bring the points of the Scout Law to the forefront. Living by the Scout Oath and Law was my direction for all I have done as Scoutmaster. If you go back and look at the post about F-Talks, you can bet that each of those ended with “Is this the person you want to be?” and “I know you can do better”. I never felt that shaming people to make them improve, doesn’t mean they didn’t shame themselves to BE better, and that was fine. When we make mistakes we have to look at what we did and learn from it. I think that is why so many people have come back to me and said they “deserved” the F-Talk. Or they learned a lot from their talks. Some it took 20 years later, as they disciplined their own kids, and my voice echoed in the back of their minds. When I did the Scoutmaster Conference, almost all second-class Scout candidates, I talked about how things that would block what would make them successful. It's not a coincidence that the Dangers of Drugs has been part of the 2nd Class requirements and it was always an opportunity to have that discussion. We also talked about how living by the Scout Oath and Law would not only make them better people but to make life easier most of the time. If they quit scouts tomorrow, the Oath and Law could guide them to a more successful life and all have agreed. That is not to imply that living by the Oath and Law is easy, but it makes for a better life. I even had a scout tell me he was at college for 6 months or so, and he hung the Scout Law on the back of his dorm door to remind him to be a better person because he was having a hard time. So no matter who you are reading this, I would like to encourage you to live the Scout Oath and Law, will it be perfect, NO, but use YOUR disappointment and fear of disappointing others as the inspiration to do better each day. Be Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent and you will have a better life! If you are having trouble with these, call me, let's talk! (if you don’t have the number, IM me on FaceBook).
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